Anxiety is coming to a head as the date of my first dissertation proposal presentation approaches. Now that I have 2 weekends left to work, it's getting a little hairy. I still have a daunting stack of articles that stare at me every night when I get home from an exhausting day. The file entitled "Dissertation Annotated Biblio.docx" stays open on my laptop indefinitely. It's time to crack down and schedule out blocks of time in advance for the week. I need to get more work done at a quicker pace than I've been working. We'll see how it works for me by next week.

CRASH!

Today was the first softball game of the 2009 Spring season at Hofstra. At 11AM about 10-11 students, professor, administration gathered on the grass to do one of the most enjoyable simple pleasures known to man; have a catch. After 2.5 years of constant work, which has become even more intense as of late, this was one of the most enjoyable few hours I've had in a long time. Regarding the game, we lost terribly, but had fun doing it.

After leaving campus, I got into the worst car accident I've ever been in. It was quite surreal and still can't believe I was in it. Thank G-d I have no injuries and I was able to walk away from it. I also thank G-d for my family and incredible friends who were there within minutes. I think the hardest part was not the incredible guilt that I felt and anger toward myself for putting myself in a situation like that, but to see my car being put on a tow truck.

I remembered the first day my dad brought her home. It was my junior year of high school and I just got my learner's permit. He gave me the keys and I sat in it for 20 minutes. I imagined getting my license, and driving it everywhere; and I did exactly that. During high school and my first two years of college, it was my father's and I borrowed it to go out with friends on so many great nights. At the end of the summer of 2004, my dad gave me the keys and when I packed her up and drove back to Binghamton for the year, it was an amazing feeling. Thinking back, I remember driving her while laughing, crying, being angry, during some of the best times of my life, as well as some of the most unhappy. I took great pride in my car. Even before she was "mine" I would wash her by hand, wax her (2 coats), clean every inch of her just because I thought she deserved to look her best. I always said, she's only a 4 cylinder, but she's got the heart of a 6. I replaced speakers, a radio, bumper when it got bruised badly, lights, tires, hood, and other parts to make her like new again. I could tell the sound of my car from others of the same make and model. I knew how she felt and how she drove. I could change the radio station or heat setting without looking. I knew her like the back of my own hand.

To see the car that's been through so much with me so damaged because of me, made me feel terrible. I always envisioned selling her, or trading her in a few years down the road. I never envisioned that I'd have to junk her because she was beyond repair. I know it's only a car, but to me she was much more. She really helped me transition out of my teens and into manhood. She taught me responsibility and helped me go so many places and do so many things I would have never been able to do without her.

I'll miss her.

And finally, when I look outside my house and don't see her parked in front, she still manages to teach me something. DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED. There are so many small things in life that should be enjoyed and never overlooked. Life isn't about getting where you need to go; it's about enjoying the ride, the scenery, who you travel with, and what gets you there. I'm having a great ride...

Sponsor Quest

How does one find a dissertation sponsor? Must you be aggressive, trying to snatch one up early on? Or does it require patience; formulating your research topic in order to make for a more clear and prepared presentation to potential sponsors, as well as finding a sponsor who will be a perfect fit? Further, what makes a sponsor a “good fit”?

At this point, I do not have a sponsor. I took the latter approach, trying to prepare a cogent [informal] proposal to share with potential sponsors. By doing so, I think that I may have been left in the dust in the race to find a sponsor. I would like to find a sponsor who has extensive knowledge in the field I plan to research. While I understand that my dissertation is just one aspect of their career, I would like for my sponsor-to-be to be able to give my dissertation the attention it needs and deserves throughout the process. Also, I think the doctoral student and dissertation sponsor need to have chemistry, and mesh well together as mentor-mentee, and as peers. While considering all of these points, a few of my sponsor choices were asked by other students and no longer available for other students. Thus, I must be optimistic that I will find a professor who is not only willing, but is enthusiastic about working with me on my dissertation.